Good Bye It Was Nice Knowing You

This is not a ploy for attention.  It's not a post where I expect any feed back or anyone to throw in what they think.

I've been struggling with social media for a couple of years now.  

It started with a video that had Jesus in the title and it's only gotten worse.

Now it's 30 days facebook jail every 30 days.

They've crippled my ability to do business through yard sale sites.

I'm sure I've lost a lot of friends over the past couple of years, deconstructing to the point of atheism.

It's okay.  I don't mind.  I didn't ask anyone what they thought or to weigh in in the first place.

I have given it considerable thought over the last three months.

I can't use all the negativity.

I see constant fear, worry, people talking about things they don't know anything about, others chiming in to tell them they are wrong and half the time those people don't know what they are talking about either.  

I see people learn new things and others make fun of them for it.

I see people crying out for help and no one is paying attention to them, because everyone is so wrapped up in their own junk they are oblivious to the existence of anyone else.

Selfies.  What's on your mind?

Current events have folks straight losing their minds and forgetting who they really are.

For every good post there are twenty more that are negative.  For every good post there are a hundred more talking about the same damn thing.

For every person that puts out a positive vibe, there's some shit head lurking in their friends section, just waiting for the opportunity to make his or her smart ass comment, who really don't like you anyway.

I see people talking shit about people they don't even know.  Talking shit about people who haven't done a damn thing to them.

I see the passive aggressive bullshit the real cowards put out.  I see the narcissist who is pouring salt on everybody, trying to one up everybody they know, name drop, be somebody.  No one has told him you can't do those things using everyone else as stairs.

I see politics, us verses them, lines of division, religion, racism, all sorts of things going on in the world.

Not only that, you have to support those people or they start calling you out on social media.  

I see you're not free to do whatever you want, because you are supposed to consider my health and my feelings first.

If you're not this, or you're not that, you ain't shit.  It's like a real time magazine.  Magazines always make you feel like shit about your life and your house and what you look like and the clothes you wear.  They offer all this advice you didn't ask for and you start believing that nonsense.  Sound familiar?

I see people standing around making videos of other people being mistreated and no one saying a word to interfere or make it stop.  I see people standing in front of burning buildings with their phones stuck in their faces.

I see people judging me for what I don't believe, for what I do believe, for not being like them, for not believing in the same things they believe.

I see people judging one another for absolutely everything else.

I see racism being fed and nourished and coddled by people like an old friend.

I know my life doesn't matter because I'm not black.

I am painfully aware of what color our skin is thanks to you and all your little friends.

I am painfully aware how something someone else did to other people is supposed to have everything to do with me here and today and I should be punished for all that wickedness.  

I am painfully aware how you have attached your identity to it and continue to draw the lines, to choose sides, to use the language and rhetoric that keeps us divided.

I am painfully aware how my human experience couldn't possibly measure up to anyone else's because of some stupid ass invisible privilege they believe there is.

Believing in white privilege is like believing in Jesus, I'm not buying your bullshit on either one.

I was born poor, to an abusive father, in a world that didn't let me choose, a convict's daughter, so fuck you and your white privilege bullshit.

I'm divorcing a black man who has been arrested 32 times, it's not a black white issue, it's shitty people carrying badges.  It's people not using good sense in tense situations.  It's not being compliant with a person that's already on edge.  It's not being completely honest for the sake of your life.

The world is not coming to an end.
Even if it did no god is coming to save you.

I try putting out a good message all the time.  I'm not perfect, I have moments when it all pisses me off and I want to say something about it too.  It's just too much.  

For all the good it could do in the world it does nothing more than feed the negativity.

You'll see blog posts, pictures, things I have for sale, but other than that, I can't and won't participate.

I've been writing and painting and just living my life and every day without it makes my life so much more lovely, because it's negative, it's a slow poison, it's not benefiting my soul one way or the other.  It's a constant back and forth of ideas and beliefs and arguments.

People can say things to you so vile you want to go and shower, but the moment you respond.......

There's no free speech on social media.

Artificial intelligence is running the whole show now and if you're on the list, ,then you're on the list and the list doesn't discriminate.  The program runs the way it's designed to run and they are just racking up points on you for the next time they shut you out and shut you up.

I am returning to life as we once knew it.  I'm working, I'm gardening, I'm house shopping and the whole world really doesn't give a shit, so no one needs to know it.

I've had a dozen people out of nearly five thousand reach out to me in the last ninety days and that tells me everything I already know about social media.

Out of sight out of mind.

I've just finished my second book and am working on a third.  I'm painting more and more every day.  I've still got dreams I know I will see come true and I'm not like everyone else, so why would I want to do it like everyone else? I wouldn't.

Those who really want to see me and be connected with me will find a way.

We are not the same.

I won't take my pages down because I have groups I admin but I won't be there very often.  It doesn't give me pleasure and I've stopped doing things I hate.

I love you all so very much, we just can't be friends this way any longer.

All good things must come to an end and this thing stopped being good a long long time ago.

I will not live my life letting perfect strangers rip out my heart day after day.  No one gets a say in who I am, what I believe or how I feel about life.  It's my life to live, most are only in it through an internet connection.  

They could block me out permanently any day, so good bye it was nice knowing you.