I didn't see either one of our color until You pointed it out
You are the one that drew the line of division
I did nothing to bring us here together, I thought we came together
You are my friend, isn't that what we were doing? Taking the journey?
My friends come in all colors shapes and sizes
When I talk about you, I talk about You
I never think to mention your ethnicity
I've never in my life said something about you and threw in, "______ ______" you know.
It never even crosses my mind. Crazy people think like that.
I am not blind to the past. My heart has always hurt for injustice and anyone oppressed.
I was the girl that went after the bullies so they would leave my friends alone.
I was the girl who said, "You'd best shoot me now bro, you're gonna see me later."
I was the girl who read the beautiful stories of slaves and mistreated people
My niece brought the books home from school when we lived at mama's house
Straight up in the hood, only me there, gun fire all the time, drug dealers driving by
I had nothing to do with it.
You keep bringing it up, like maybe you think I did.
You keep building the wall
You keep pushing me away and holding me at arm's length
You keep emphasizing what color I am in your world
You keep drawing the line in the sand, like you know something I don't
You keep saying things I can't relate to you know because there's no way I can relate
Because I'm white, you know
I couldn't possibly understand the shit you've been through
(Homeless, crackhead, prostitute, criminal)
No, I couldn't possibly have a human experience because I am white
Look what's been done to our people by people who look like you
I keep hearing I love you but................
I keep hearing but you don't know where I've been
I keep hearing your life doesn't matter because well......
Your life matters too but..............
My "but" is it makes me uncomfortable and causes me to shy away
My 'but' is it makes me feel less valuable
My "but" is I don't say shit like that about you, ever
My "but" is, what the fuck?
It makes me feel judged, as your friend, for the proverbial "sins of the father" crap
It makes me feel a certain kind of way about you
It makes me question what we would call a friendship
It pisses me off, let's keep it real!
I am here now, I matter here and now, just like you do
Fuck the color of the occasion, we all matter and I'm not trying to exclude anyone
You've already excluded me, you know, because I'm white.
White lives just don't matter because everyone assumes white lives were the only ones that mattered
Just so you know, it feels like our friendship doesn't matter either
Because how dare you white girl, not give a shit about the color of people's skin!
You know what they did!
Do you know what they said?
But you don't know what they did!
I'm more concerned about what you are doing right here right now
Hurting my heart and being just as cruel as whoever it is you are talking about
You are the one inflicting the pain at this point, you are the one dividing us
This is how I feel about it and damn it, it should be given all matter
So if you're my friend and I do matter, you should know that it all makes me quite uncomfortable
I get a say too damn it because what I think matters
Seems to me everyone is doing a whole hell of a lot of damage to one another with everything that freaking matters
No one chose the color they came in, right and wrong and beauty are in the eye of the beholders
Now that you've made me painfully aware of my whiteness, let me be the first to tell you
In case you didn't know, there's never been a single fucking privilege that came from being me
You're free to believe whatever you like, but you are not free to force that shit on me.
The living cannot go on living well, dragging dead and rotting corpses around.
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